. What has been hard, challenging, fun and interesting about making those videos?<\/strong><\/p>\nI really went into this album super nervous about ideas that come from outside people. I work with a lot of people. To be a technically debuting artist who already has a set of so many people working with me and expectations is really weird and hard. I had to do a lot of work to separate from that. The way I started the record was by lying to everyone and telling them I\u2019m taking a break. Then I went and made some music because I needed everyone to look away so I could make what I wanted.<\/p>\n
Who knew that you were making music? <\/strong><\/p>\nNo one except Adam and I. It started with just me and Adam [Henderson]. That process allowed me to look at it and be like, \u201cOk, I already know that they\u2019re going to have a lot of ideas.\u201d Because I had seen it at the end of The Regrettes. There were lots of trends and ways to promote that record labels look at because they work for lots of people. I wanted to create something and let people into this world, even if it was a small number of people. How do I share the truth and be authentic in this state of the world and music industry? So I presented this idea of, instead of putting out BTS videos later on, presenting how I was feeling in real time. <\/p>\n
<\/span>I think that\u2019s so interesting to me and makes me feel better about what I\u2019m doing. Showing vulnerability in that way \u2026 showing how you shoot an album cover or telling them \u201cI feel weird about putting out this album. I feel weird about this relationship.\u201d That\u2019s the truth and that\u2019s what\u2019s funny too. A lot of people come at me on the internet and don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve already said it. Trust me, I\u2019ve clocked it. I know my shitty tendencies and patterns. So that\u2019s where the vlog series was born. I was thinking about how to market myself in a way that feels fun and authentic. <\/p>\n<\/span>Then Drew Thomsen, my drummer and best friend, he got into videography and editing and all this shit during COVID. He wanted to do all this fun stuff and I loved how he was editing these things for fun that we were making. Drew also acts like my brother. I was going over to my dad\u2019s, getting rid of stuff and we found this old camera. My dad was like, \u201cDrew should take it.\u201d And Drew took the camera, so that\u2019s how we\u2019ve been shooting everything. It\u2019s the same camera my dad took my baby videos on. It was very full circle and very real. I\u2019m trying to keep every piece of what I do close to home. [But] it makes it hurt more when people don\u2019t like it.<\/p>\n<\/span>I can see that feeling more personal. You\u2019ve been making music your whole life. You had all these expectations externally. What were the expectations like internally?<\/strong><\/p>\nThe biggest thing was knowing I had to lock back into younger Lydia. Younger Lydia was a delulu<\/em> queen who never doubted the fact that I\u2019d make it. I never doubted it. Why not me? I work hard. I\u2019m talented. I\u2019m a good person. I have good karma, why not? Then you deal with all this shit and start believing you don\u2019t deserve it. I got imposter syndrome. Am I missing something? It freaks me the fuck out. Making this record, I wanted to start with the baby steps of it. This was me saying I\u2019m taking a break after the last Regrettes shows. I was sitting in my apartment, it was the first time I was supporting myself fully. I had been living with my boyfriend for four years, and was now paying for my own apartment. We shared animals, everything. It was insane. I was finally feeling this real sense of independence. I was living by myself, I took our cats, I was mama. <\/p>\nI fell in love with Adam, who was my best friend, for a year. He knew my ex too. And there was never anything weird. We love and respect each other as friends. Because that layer was built, we started dating. Right before the last Regrettes shows around November of that year. Going into January, we had built this relationship that was really fun and different from anything I\u2019d experienced. I started writing these songs from my couch. That\u2019s how I started. \u201cArt Sucks\u201d was the first. I wrote a guitar demo and sent it to him. I was like \u201cI think this is good.\u201d And I trust his opinion. He has a solo project that he\u2019s finally putting out. <\/p>\n
He\u2019s a secretly crazy good producer and I believe in him so much. I had done so many sessions in the past and had no idea who was going to make this record. There was no intention, but this was my best friend, this was my boyfriend, this was the only person I wanted to send a song to about hating my career. I\u2019m not gonna share this with anyone else. He was like \u201cCome over, let\u2019s track it.\u201d We tracked some vocals and guitar, I went to sleep, and I wake up and he\u2019s like \u201cI worked on this till 4 AM.\u201d It was insane. That song, the production, the whole vibe is insane. It\u2019s super hyperpop. It was everything I explained to him as to where I thought it could go. It was that brain chemistry of \u201cYou get it. You get this.\u201d It was so different from anything I had made. I was like \u201cLet\u2019s do another one.\u201d We wrote so many songs and I kept camping at his place. It was so fun. I went into my sessions with Alexis so hard. I\u2019d cry. I’d work work work and record, then finish and be like \u201cI need a nap.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/h3>\n
<\/p>\n
People take song lyrics like they\u2019re the bible, by the way. They think every lyric has meaning.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
<\/h3>\n
\n